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By / 24 June, 2022

Start by Grabbing Some Like-Minded Friends

Dating is often an exhausting business. The constant barrage of self-improvement emails and online dating profile landmines are not for the faint of heart. If you’ve just joined the great online dating game, it’s a good time to reach out to a handful of friends and see if anyone is already dating or is currently in a relationship. This way, you can get a feel for the expectations of the latest crop of daters and how you compare. If you’re single, be warned—it may seem like you’re having fun but you’re also putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

Whether you go to someone’s house or meet for coffee, having that extra pair of eyes in the back of your head is invaluable. Keep a written log of any date you go on and watch out for red flags. When you finish, pass it on to another friend. Before you know it, you’ll have an arsenal of tips and observations on your dating partner to help you better handle these dates.

I’ll Be Open

Many of us have done a good job learning how to walk around in public without our clothes on, but the idea of casually putting ourselves out there with a complete stranger has something of a connotation of vulnerability and self-censorship that we may not be used to. Being vulnerable means being honest with yourself, and for most of us that’s not something we’re very practiced at. Dump the shame for a minute and breathe—being vulnerable is a beautiful thing. Not only will you get to know yourself and your dating partner more deeply, but you’ll also stand out as someone who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable in public.

We all have insecurities, and if you’re putting yourself out there then you have to be willing to own them, but be sure to put your best foot forward and be open to what you’re not, or what you would rather be. If it happens, be ready to embrace it. After all, if you’re not proud of yourself, then you shouldn’t expect anyone to be. And if you’re already in a relationship, then you might consider how you could help your partner be more in touch with his/her authentic self.

We Hate when You Do that Thing

No one does it—at least, no one should. Unless it’s cute. Even then, don’t do it. Dating is a numbers game, and if you start doing things
Let’s face it: Dating can be a little intimidating, and it has nothing to do with confidence. Even if you are completely comfortable with yourself and are a good conversationalist, the idea of putting your best self forward and being vulnerable with a stranger who may become the love of your life is, well, daunting. If you’re in the market for a relationship—whether it’s a casual fling or something long-term—consider this your guide to modern dating.

When to Ask Out a Guy

Photo by Christine Sommerfeld

It’s okay to go directly to the point. Since going to a party and not knowing the guy’s name will probably lead to an awkward conversation at best, ask him the first time you run into him:

Hi, I’m (name) and I’m an editor at (company) and I was wondering if I can buy you a drink?

Here’s why this works: If he gives a simple “no,” it’s 100 percent the truth, and he can move on with his life. But if he says “yes,” there’s a good chance he’ll be waiting for you. Obviously, there are no guarantees in life, but it’s worth a shot.

Should he say “yes”? At that point, he should probably have some idea if he wants to take the next step. Even if he’s already made that decision, just doing something nice for someone could be enough of a reward in itself. If he’s not interested, that’s fine, but at least you have the conversation out of the way.

If he’s not interested, that’s fine, but at least you have the conversation out of the way. If he’s interested, then what happens next is up to him. You should never make any moves before a guy opens up to you about his feelings, so if he doesn’t say anything, leave it alone. If he does say something and invites you on a date, give him your number in case he wants to call and make a plans. Make sure you turn your phone on silent to avoid any embarrassing calls.

But if he says something? You’re in business.

You’ve now officially gone on a date with this person. If you like what you see in his eyes and he says things like “I had a great time tonight,” “I’d really like to see you again,” and “I’d love to call you sometime,” he’s a good bet to make a

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