Read on and let it be an inspiration to you. I know you already know the best way to start dating, but this guide to the future will help you know what to do once you get a potential mate on the phone or via online dating, and how to be a great conversationalist so the girl you choose will want to get to know you much, much more.
If you have any type of small talk down, you’re already halfway to being a great conversationalist. Even if you’re really only interested in learning about a person’s interests, you can still make conversation easy. Get a feel for their interests before they do, and you can get in their head a lot easier. For example, if you learn that a person is a farmer (or a massive animal enthusiast), you can have a good conversation about it. If you learn that they are a football fan, you can start talking about that. If you learn that they are a Miley Cyrus fan, you can talk about that.
Now, do you have any friends that are great conversationalists? Those people are just fascinating to be around. They can talk about anything under the sun and keep a conversation going. The world is actually a much smaller place than you would think, and you don’t have to narrow your topic to a niche like farming or the Presidential election to get people talking. If you’re just out for a drink with friends, what topics come up? Wine. Food. Religion. Sports. Anything. A friend who’s good at conversation will always come back to that topic no matter how people change the subject. They can learn about you while they’re learning about them, and you can get to know them without them necessarily knowing you’re paying close attention. That is a person you could fall in love with.
So learn good conversationalism if you can. You don’t have to be the brains of the conversation if you don’t want to be, but you do have to be willing to learn and to know a few key things about the person you’re conversing with.
Qualities to Look For
This is where you get to set yourself apart. You do not need to be someone that has it all figured out. I’m not going to tell you that you need to know how to play guitar in order to be a good conversationalist. The point is that you do not want to turn yourself in to a walking stereotype, and you want to http://www.1st-in-dating.com/why-use-adult-chat-for-finding-hookups-and-nsa-lovers.html
Dealing with the Fear
It’s really, really hard to turn down offers of dates. I know for a fact that this is true because I had to write this guide, and I could not find the courage to do it until I learned how to deal with the fear of turning down anyone.
You’re probably scared for two different reasons:
The first is the fear of rejection—what if you turn someone down and they don’t like you? What if you’re not dating someone who shares your beliefs and values? What if you’re not dating someone who is attractive enough for you?
The second is the fear of failure—what if you don’t find someone who shares your views on politics, religion, or any other controversial issues? What if you meet a guy who is your height and from a different part of town?
The truth is, while you can’t live without someone to hold your hand or cry in, nor can anyone else—love isn’t love if it’s one-sided or based on neediness. If you want a relationship, you need to be OK with the fact that it may not work out. Accept that people find their own level of compatibility, and don’t be afraid to consider other alternatives.
Dealing with Failure
One of the first things a lot of people get wrong is the notion that you have to be the first to give up. That’s just crazy. You don’t owe anyone an invitation to anything. If you’re interested in a person, be interested. If they’re interested in you, be interested. If you see them at a party, be interested. If they’re the only person interested in you, and it turns out you’re not that person’s type—don’t force yourself to hang out with them if you don’t want to.
Of course, if you do want to be in a relationship, you don’t want to do this—only say yes to a date if you’re completely OK with the person and their presence. Then, when you’re in a relationship, don’t sabotage it just because it’s hard. Don’t be that guy or girl.
As with the fear of rejection, many people lack the courage to say “no” because they feel they are letting someone down or failing. If you feel uncomfortable with a date—and you should feel uncomfortable—you are 100% justified in saying no.
The other thing you don’t want to do is worry about all the